Times have changed a little since the “Model Parliament” was established in 1295 and stuffed full of bishops, earls, barons, abbots and other representatives of “higher authority” whether that be by divine right or by the might of the sword. Feudalism is no longer alive and kicking (no matter what dem gangstas in da hood like to think) and we certainly shouldn’t be tugging our forelocks at those who would rule us by accident of birth, this is the 21st Century, where I can have you arrested for denying me a place in the 100m Men’s Finals on the grounds of equality.
So what are we going to do with the Lords? There are currently around 800 of them, gently snoring on the red benches (well, the few that actually manage to attend, that is), and pouring over the vast amounts of legislation that our lawyer MPs spend all their days pushing through Parliament to justify their existences and expenses. They no longer have any real power, and certainly do not have the ability to usurp what our Politburo friends across the Lobby decide is on our best interests. Some of them are still there because their great ancient relatives once pleased a monarch, some of them are there simply because they have reached a religious ladder step and others are there to ensure that our malevolent Political parties can exert their stranglehold over ever more expanses of the UK legislature. So is any of this actually required by me, the citizen?
Much like the Tower of London, it is all very quaint to look at, a proper Disneyland of Heraldry and Ermine, lots of bowing and scraping and putting your things on the lower peg just like they did at School. It provides plenty of work for crony MPs who migrate when they are no longer electable and sleazy corporatists are rewarded for furthering the ambitions of a Prime Minister or filling the coffers of the party but have they actually done any good for the UK? Do we really need 26 unelected Bishops wandering around smelling of choirboys and Vaseline to safeguard our democracy and prevent tyrants from taking half our money from us by force?
I’m all for a second chamber to actually stop what the blithering idiots in the house of Commons manage to present as “laws” but it seems that filling with the same imbeciles will produce more of the same idiocy. We need people who AREN’T politicians or authoritarians to act as quality control, not another layer of the same manure. So here’s my idea for a reformed House of Lords.
- Elected Representatives – you cannot stand if you have ever stood for election in any Council or Parliamentary Election, regardless of result
- 300 at maximum – we need less Government, not more
- One term of office – 10 years maximum, then out you go.
- Right of recall – If the elected member is a total thief then out he goes
- No Bishops or political cronies, no party politics at all. Each and every member is an independent and expected to act as such.
- Real power to put the brakes on the likes of successive idiot Home Secretaries, who if they could, would have us all living in Gulags with our tongues cut out for good measure
I want a second chamber that actually works for me, democracy, the law and my best interests - without dictating to me what they are. I don’t want to see ermine robes and slobbering fossils, I want to see dynamic representatives adding some common sense to the legislature. Then I want them to go through the Statute book and get rid of the endless rules and regulations made by centuries of career politicians and reduce the law to a handy pocket sized rule book that we can all sign up to obey. And most of all, I want more of YOU to become “Lords” and take your rightful places looking down on Politicians from a great height. After all, aren’t they supposed to be OUR servants?
